stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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