The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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