I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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