Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
