Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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