I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
