Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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