with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
