we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
