I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The best revenge is premature balding
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Found your dick twin last night
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
