I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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