i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
