I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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