He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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