so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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