So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
