watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Less talking, more tequila
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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