I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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