The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize