She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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