I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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