what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
