allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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