I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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