Where did you get a picture of my penis
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I want her autograph on my taint
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
