Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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