Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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