Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
