ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
