He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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