i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
so much tequila, so little girl.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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