Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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