do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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