FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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