i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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