laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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