He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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