whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm passing your future prison.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
