he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
