I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
