Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
