Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
