who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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