so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
