I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
