I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
