Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize