Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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