By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
