singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
