i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
