she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Couch. On fire.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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