shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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