we're blogging at a bar
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
