Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
