I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
