i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
