Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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