If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
