wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
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Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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