Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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