I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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