My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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