chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
