quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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