had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
