he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
