sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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