chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
